When Something Didn't Happen....
If something didn’t happen, something else happened instead.
This may feel a bit like a non-statement…? But I’ve been amazed at what an important re-frame this has been for me and my fellow community members.
How many of you look back at your day/week/month/year etc. and see all the goals you didn’t accomplish, the jobs you didn’t book, all the milestones you didn’t meet…
So often, especially with social media, when we see what IS happening for other people and it seems to highlight what isn’t happening for us. Personally, I have a tendency to just skip to the classic “What’s wrong with me?!”
A reflective check-in is necessary for progress, and sometimes that includes a kick-in-the-pants.
But when we’re looking back, it’s important to also take stock of what DID happen or IS happening.
It’s not like the space/time that you would have spent on “the thing you didn’t do” exists in a void. You are always filling your time.
Sometimes the “thing that happened instead” is excessive binge-watching or doom-scrolling.
Sometimes it’s a recurring comfort-zone activity that keeps you hiding from the bigger more meaningful task.
These are good to clock and be honest with yourself about!
And sometimes your time is spent on the things that DO align with your long-term goals, and/or more importantly, your values!
“I didn’t reach out to any agents this week… What happened instead? I prepped for a big audition that came up.”
OR
“I didn’t do as many workouts as I wanted… What happened instead? I showed up for my friend going through a tough time.”
It can be hard to determine when you need grace, and when you need a kick in the pants. It requires self-awareness and honesty.
But when we acknowledge what is happening, we have the data to help us prioritize and accurately assess our strategy for doing “the thing” tomorrow…(If we still feel it’s important enough to do).
So next time you say “That didn’t happen!” ask “What happened instead”?
Something that aligned deeper with my values?
Something that helped me grow in a way I didn’t expect?
Something that fueled my soul?
Something that took me down an exciting new path?