Discipline is Overrated
(Okay, this title is a little click-bait-y.)
To be clear, I am not anti-discipline. BUT something I hear ALL. THE. TIME. is:
“ I want to _____ I just don’t have enough discipline.”
(Ps..I often hear this from some of the hardest-working people I’ve ever met…I made a video about that a few months back.)
This was me for a long time. And I did not identify as someone good at sticking to habits
But Because my ‘strategy’ was: “Be strong and just do it!”
Perhaps this works for some people, but not for me. And I’ll venture to say for most of us, this is not an effective strategy…
…because it’s barely a strategy at all….. “be” and “do” are not exactly clear or actionable verbs.
When we (inevitably) disappoint ourselves, we believe the only possible explanation for our “failure” to ”just do it” is that we are weak and undisciplined, which for many of us is a major threat to our sense of identity.
Before long, our should-be-healthy habit becomes associated with feelings of dread, self-doubt, and shame.
It’s almost as though we think: It only counts if we’re facing maximum resistance and still manage to show up despite it.
If this sounds like you, I want you to remember…
Trying to build a habit or routine using only discipline is like trying to build a piece of furniture or house using only hammers.
A hammer, like discipline, is a very important part of the process- you need them!...but not when what you actually need a screwdriver, a sander, or a blueprint.
There are other tools that when deployed at the right time can make the job easier, more efficient and dare I say it….enjoyable.
So let’s build our toolkit.
So think of something you’re struggling to stick with that requires an easy and consistent “yes.”
Instead of just reaching for the discipline again, you can look in the toolkit and ask:
“Hmmm, maybe what I really need is…”
Self-Awareness (Clear picture of your current patterns)
Community
Sense of purpose/ connection to values
Accountability
Positive reinforcement
A smaller dose
A blueprint/plan
Coaching
Reflection
Encouragement
Grace
Reward System
A cue
Elimination/ Replacement (I’m doing this instead of__)
Tracking systems
Sense of fun/ease/play
Unit of measurement
If you know of other tools please let me know here and we can build out a community toolkit!
So when DO we need discipline? I’ll tell you in next week’s blog ;)
Let’s check-in, how are you feeling? Relieved? Curious? Am I wrong?